Old, Bald and Irish "EPIC FAIL" Contest!

[Old, Bald and Irish]

IT'S ON, BITCHES!

Based on the supportive negative comments about my upcoming participation in the 2008 GrapplersQuest no-gi submission wrestling competition, Ben & Ben have decided to to pity my stupid ass by making lemonade outta lemons with ...

The Old, Bald and Irish "EPIC FAIL" Contest!

On Saturday, October 18th, I'll be competing in the 2008 East Coast GrapplersQuest competition in Wayne, New Jersey. This will only be my second competition and even I can smell the "EPIC FAIL" from here!

Here's you're chance to be a total fucker and cash in on MY embarassing failure!

I'll be competing in the GrapplersQuest no-gi submission grappling Beginner division at the 150-159 lb. weight class. I'm not being a pessimist, but, the odds are not in my favor.

There are 4 skill divisions: Novice, Beginner, Intermediate and Advanced. I'll be competing in the largest division: Beginner. I'll also be in the largest weight class: 150 - 159 lbs. There will easily be about 50 competitors for that division and weight. If I win one match, that would be a major accomplishment.

Oh, did I mention that almost ALL of the competitors will be HALF my age?

You're smelling the "FAIL" now, right?

The chances of me advancing are Slim to None...and Slim just left the room with his arm around my wife telling my daughter that he's her "New Dad"!

The rules for this contest are simple:

Each Forum Member can submit ONE (1) post and bet on the following criteria:

1. if I win or lose (OK...stop snickering)
2. how long the match lasts (matches are 5 minutes long; we need minutes and seconds)
3. winning method of submission (if any, by either combatant)
4. total points scored in match by BOTH competitors (see below for scoring info)
5. worst type of injury that I will sustain (I roll: I get hurt. It's that simple.)

Please note that at the end of five minutes, if the match ends in a tie, GrapplersQuest rules state that a match goes into a "sudden death" overtime: first combatant to score a point wins.

Closest one on all 5 gets an Official Cage Potato "Fab Five" t-shirt!

I'll give my "two-cents", but Ben & Ben have the final say. What they say GOES...so no belly-aching ya sore losers.

These rules only apply to my first match at GrapplersQuest. If, by the chance of divine intervention, I win my first match and proceed to the next round, this contest only applies to my FIRST MATCH.

To help you make an informed betting decision, I've posted the video of my failed jiu jitsu match at www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4VwzZuedt4 . I'll shoot some training video this weekend so people can get a feel for how badly I'll lose. I should have that posted by Sunday night. Win or lose, I'll make the final video available so that everyone can adore the voluptous horror of Old, Bald and Irish's (just call me OBI) "EPIC FAIL"!

SCORING INFO:
No-Gi Scoring System & Rules for RATED (GrapplingLeague.com):
1. Each competitor will be asked to wear a Red or Green Ankle Marker to assist with the referee in scoring points correctly
2. Takedowns or Throws: Land on Top in Guard or Half Guard 2 points ---Land on Top in Side Mount or Full Mount– 3 Points (points will be
awarded separately for Full Mount after an additional 3 seconds of control).
3. Sweep with Legs (from Half Guard or Full Guard) 2 points – Inversions (Power Rolls from the Side Mount or Full Mount are NOT
considered Sweeps and are not awarded any points or advantages
4. Pass opponents guard or Half Guard to Side Mount 3 points
5. Mounted position (both knees on the ground) 4 points
6. Back Mount with Leg Hooks (or Knees on the Ground with Opponent Flat on his Stomach) 4 points
7. Points will be accumulated during the entire length of the match.
8. Advantages: described as submission attempts that posed a real threat to the other fighter, near takedowns, near sweep, near passes etc.). The
referee will signal verbally (i.e. Advantage Red) and with his/her arm by moving it in a horizontal motion. Advantages will also be scored for a
competitor passing from their opponent’s Full Guard to a Secure Half Guard (opponent should be more on their back than on hip to score)
9. Advantages will only be used in the case of a tie with points.
10. Referee will signal all Points Verbally (i.e. 2 Points Green) and by signaling with his/her color coded wristbands and fingers as points are
tallied – to ensure points/advantages are properly counted.

Hit me up on the Cage Potato Forum if ya have any questions.

Later!

OBI