[noobjj]

Alex Trebek: Hello and welcome to MMA Jeopardy! I'm your host Alex Trebek. I'd like to welcome three new MMA fighters to take part in today's program. First up, all the way from the land of the sun and cute girls in sailor outfits, Shinya Aoki!

Shinya Aoki : Ha-ro.

Alex: Next, he's known as the Axe Murderer, give it up for Wanderlei Silva!

Wanderlei Silva: I like cheese.

Alex: And finally, beauty, brawn and a very healthy figure, Gina Carano!

Gina Carano (over the phone): Look, just make a new weight class for me all right...? I don't know... 145 sounds good.... okay, I got to go....

She hangs up her cell.

GC: You know, I know you said that, "healthy figure" crap. Was that a shot at a weight joke? Cause if that was, it wasn't funny. Un-uh. Not funny. You think there's something wrong with this?

Gina stands and takes OFF her shirt, showing her goods being held back by black satin and lace.

Wanderlei SMILES and gives a thumb up. Shinya's eyes go wide and his nose SQUIRTS blood. He immediately grabs tissue and tries to stop the bleeding.

Gina puts her shirt back on and sits down.

GC: I didn't think so.

Alex: Okay... On to today's topics – Turn of the Century Scientists...

Shinya begins to get GIDDY like a little kid waiting in line for the next pokemon game.

Alex: Goggle maps...

Wanderlei looks like he's getting a HEADACHE.

Alex: MMA Nuthuggers...

GC: HUH? What about breasthuggers, huh? Girls don't have nuts you know.

Alex: Matt Hughes...

Shinya goes APESHIT. Both Gina and Wanderlei have confused looks.

Alex: And finally, Cheese.

The chorus rift of Sandstorm RINGS OUT ! Wanderlei jumps to his feet, both arms up in the air. He GRINS ridiculously.

Alex: Wanderlei, Wanderlei, please sit down. Please sit.

The SOUND of a needle dragging across a record is heard then Sandstorm is abruptly stopped. Wanderlei's smile DISAPPEARS. He looks lost. He points to the screen that says "cheese".

WS: But... but, cheese...

Alex: Yes, yes. I know I said "cheese" but it's not your turn.

Wanderlei slowly SITS back down.

Alex: Shinya Aoki has first pick. Shinya?

SA: Matto Hujizu, wan handuredo.

Alex: Matt Hughes for a hundred. Loss to Thiago Alves by TKO in UFC 85.

A buzzer sounds.

Alex: Gina Carano.

GC: Who is Thiago Alves?

Alex: I'm sorry, that is incorrect.

GC: You're just saying that because you think I'm fat.

Alex: I'm saying it because you're wrong.

A buzzer sounds.

Alex: Shinya Aoki.

SA: Matto Hujizu.

Alex: That's correct but it wasn't in the form of a question.

Everyone looks over at Wanderlei. He's LOST in deep thought, which is clear by the fact that his tongue is out and off to one side. He SLOWLY raises his hand to push the buzzer button.

Alex: Wanderlei Silva.

WS: Matt 'ug'es, yes?

Alex: Judges? We'll accept that. That is correct!

The lights go down and flicker on and off. Sandstorm BLASTS out of the speakers and Wanderlei stands, raising both arms in the air once more. He begins to WIGGLE back and forth slowly inching his way towards Gina. She HOLDS a hand up and looks away.

Shinya STANDS in disbelief. He points at Wanderlei who still tries to dance with Gina.

SA: What hell! Same annusa! Me same annusa!

Alex: Everyone please sit down! Please sit down!

Sandstorm STOPS. Shinya sits. Wanderlei STILL dances. He does FIST PUMPS in the air now and then.

Alex: Ahem!

Wanderlei slowly comes to and RETURNS back to his seat. Aoki begins to argue his point.

SA: Him same annusa me.

WS (to Shinya Aoki): No, I use question. So I ask question, "You like cheese, yes?" See, like "Matt 'ug'es, yes?" it's question.

GC: I like cheese.

Alex (under breath):I think you like cheese a little too much, Fatty.

GC: What was that?

Alex: Nothing. Wanderlei, please choose a topic.

WS: Cheezoo for one handred.

Alex: Cheese for one hundred. This cheese is known for it's...

A buzzer sounds

Alex: Wanderlei?

WS: Swiss, yes?

Alex: That is... surprisingly correct.

Applause is HEARD. Wanderlei does short bows in repsonse.

SA: Cheezu is stupid-do.

WS: Youze funny. Funny skinny guy.

Suddenly Wanderlei CHARGES Shinya. Shinya stands, only to get TAKENDOWN by Wanderlei. Shinya slaps on a RUBBER GUARD where as Wanderlei LIFTS up Shinya high in the air, ready to powerbomb him.

Gina POPS open her purse and begins to put on makeup.

Alex: And we'll be right back after these important messages!